you see
1. [[your bed]]
2. [[your phone]]
3. [[you]]
4. [[the wall]]
5.[[ teddy]]
(if:(history: where its name contains " teddy")'s length is 1)[[it's time to start the day!!]]the foam mattress has no bedframe, no box-spring. the sheet is grey and unfitted. you have not lived in this apartment very long, and you have never had to take care of yourself before.
let alone somebody else. it's daunting.it's 14:22. you've slept for a long time, and you could sleep for longer.
you have an [[email]].
you have a [[text]].your name is edward.whoever used to live here had a lot of personality. tape-goo and sticky-tack stain the legnthwise wall of your single-room apartment. there are constellations of tackholes, nebulae in the exposed drywall. stubborn, crooked nails that refused to be ripped out mark the places where posters and paintings used to be.
you aren't a real person.your brother's name is teddy.
you've had to take care of him, ever since the accident.
his blank, beedy little eyes make your stomach tighten up. the sight of him sickens you, and you sicken yourself for thinking about him that way.
[[you look away anyway.->open your eyes, look around!]]the subject line reads [["In Need of Assistance"]].
it's from [[sweetbread]]!
sweetbread: come wish on laundry with me
you: (force-input-box:"=XX=","i thought u were still catholic")
[[send]][[wake up, sleepyhead!]][[open your eyes, look around!]]you click on it out of habit.
"Hello, Janet—!"
You shut [[your phone]] off automatically.
sweetbread is a really cool guy.you: (force-input-box:"=XX=","that's like. heresy. ")
[[send ]]sweetbread: technically everything's heresy now. especially for us.
sweetbread: come wish on laundry with me. josé's been getting me into the manifesting shit, and i feel like something good's about to happen.
sweetbread: seize the day!! seize the day!!
you: (force-input-box:"=XX=","i'll meet you at the laundromat at 17h")
[[send ]]then, hesitantly...
you: (force-input-box:"=XX=","<3")
you smile when you put down [[your phone->open your eyes, look around!]].you may
1. [[nourish teddy]]
2. [[nourish yourself]]
3. [[fantasize]]
4. [[call your mother]]1. [[attend to his physical well-being]]
2. [[attend to his "mental" well-being]]
1. [[have egg]]
2. [[wash hair]]
3. [[listen to a beautiful song]]
you pull teddy's growth media from the refigerator and microwave it on low for 45 seconds.
you unscrew the cap of his bioreactor.
you collect the peices of a clean syringe from the dish-drying mat and reasemble them.
you also collect a mason jar.
[[you may now cycle teddy's growth media!!]]you stick two electric probes into teddy. the probes are connected to wires, which hook up to an ancient atari.
teddy is really terrible at pong. you let him win, and remember the days in the old facility. fridays were Puzzle Box Days, and teddy was always better at them than you were. teddy always got his sweet treat.
after the traditional three rounds of pong you begin to tear up, so you diconnect teddy from the game console.
you press your lips to his glass chamber and inhale a rattling breath.
[[congratulations on nourishing teddy!!->it's time to start the day!!]]you dip the mason jar into the bioreactor and osmosis does the rest.
[[teddy is now safely in his jar!!]]
you dump the old media into the sink and fill his little tank with fresh, nutrient-rich red liquid.
then, gently, [[you pour teddy back into his bioreactor]]. Teddy Journal
Entry #75
(force-input-box:"=XX=","he's getting bigger every day, and his eyespots seem increasingly sensitive to light. my—our— blood is still good for him. he's still a part of me. i miss his laugh. i miss his smile. i miss when i never had to look in the mirror. ")
your continue to [[nourish teddy]]..to keep his core from necrotising, you must irigate his inner tissues with the growth media.
(force-input-box:"=XX=","|==[[[[]]]]----- ! {◉I◉} !!")
[[well done!!->you may now cycle teddy's growth media!!]]your long black hair is oily and smells of stale flesh.
[[wash it]]
(if:(history: where its name contains "wash it")'s length is 1)[your long black hair is crunchy and smells of Atrificial Green Smell.
[[rehydrate it]]]you open your local file storage application.
1. [[ennui.mp3]]
2. [[ennui(1).mp3]]
3. [[romance.mp3]]you stick your head under the faucette of your kitchen sink and pull the tap-lever.
cold water sleuces over your scalp, sending a shiver up your spine.
[[with bar soap, you scrub the grease out.->wash hair]]you plorp a dollop of Bodacious Curl Crême onto your hand, and massage it into your scalp.
you feel bodacious.
[[you have nourished yourself!!->it's time to start the day!!]]<audio controls autoplay>
<source src="musak/romance.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">
Your browser does not support the audio element.
</audio>
the arches of your feet tingle. saliva pools under your tongue.
your face feels clammy, hot to the touch. suddenly, you want to run.
sweetbread was right. something good //is// going to happen.
[[you have nourished yourself!!->it's time to start the day!!]]<audio controls autoplay>
<source src="musak/ennui(1).mp3" type="audio/mpeg">
Your browser does not support the audio element.
</audio>
life is so hard, and it's hard for you to admit to that.
your diaphram spasms, your breath hitches.
life is like being tied to a mast an whipped with the cat o' nine tails.
exhailing slowly, you decide that today you can deal with that.
[[you have nourished yourself!!->it's time to start the day!!]]<figure>
<audio controls src="/whale final/musak/ennui.mp3"></audio>
</figure>
you never get what you want.
that's alright, though.
your tense abdominal walls, holding up your most caustic and delf-destructive organ, clench.
[[you have nourished yourself!!->it's time to start the day!!]]